Cheers to those who commented, I will TRY and find time to reply, but wow didn't realise people still knew I existed XD
... I'm just not on as much, and no I don't plan to leave or disappear. It's only because I'm not on enough to get to know new people and meet others online. And I'm sorry for that
I know some have tried to get to know me and I do not mean to be distant or aloof. Not at all. So get that out of yer heads
Just looking for work, and my older sister wants me to shift out, which I want to, but that will take time too. Unlike my real life mates, I don't have my partner living with me so everything is easier financially.
But I do have comms to do so I'll get those done, as well as try to be more open to friends and soon-to-be-friends.
Whingy, confused moment here in this journal- OUTBURST!
Am I a good daughter for looking after my mother when she's sick? (She's of course a smoker, has emphysema and arthritis in her knees. As well as being in her 60's)
Am I a shitty friend for having to turn down things to do with my real life friends? (I've been asked to go hang out by a few, and to visit others...)
Mum tells me to go, but she's the type to throw in her own well being for someone else, like me.
It's bloody awful because I feel like if I choose my social life, I'd be leaving her on her own- and if anything happens, well...HUGE guilt. She only came out of hospital on new years eve after spending Christmas there. And my aunty and older sister say it's not fair on me since I'm only 21-years-old, but they ALSO want me to look after her.
What sucks is I say to them I'll be happy to hang out, but then I have to let it go because of this. And I feel like an unreliable prick. It's happened multiple times and I hate it!
So it's useless. I have major guilt no matter what I choose.